I have a newborn daughter. I also have a two-yr-old son and a step-daughter who is nearly a teenager. To say I am exhausted is an understatement. I am many things. I am tired. I am exhausted. I am stressed. I am overwhelmed. I am frustrated. I can become cranky and even irritated throughout the day with all I have to do, with the tasks never completed, and with children constantly needing me.
I get mad at my husband because he falls asleep after dinner (a lot) and because he walks off to talk to others while I tend to the children. And I know he works, too. I know his job is difficult and stressful and takes a toll on his body. And then I feel guilty because I want to be the perfect wife. The perfect mother. And I feel powerless because I can’t be all things at once. I can’t be supermom and super-wife.
And, I beat myself up over it.
All. The. Time.
Every. Single. Day.
I beat myself up because I am not the perfect mother/wife. I am far from being one. And, I look at my children while they sleep…and I cry. I cry because they deserve better. They deserve the June Cleaver of all mothers.
And I can’t be her.
But, the reality is, she doesn’t exist. And the fact remains, we all do the best we can. We all try our best to ignore others’ negative opinions about how we raise our children. We smile and take it on the chin with a grin when all we want to do is lash out at those people. We take so much in and let so much go. So much, often too much, is required of us. And those people, they fail to realize it. And some of the older ones have forgotten what it was like when they had children and had to hear and consume what people had to say while under so much pressure already.
I hope I do not become this someday. I hope I can tell another mother, without criticism, that it is all going to be okay. That parenting is the toughest, most demanding, yet most rewarding job out there…and you are doing the best you can and that makes you an incredible mother (and father for all those guys out there–dads rock, too)!
Mothers, fathers, and guardians, we are in this together–despite our parenting differences. And, we are doing the best we can and that is good enough, even more than.